Are you having marriage problems? Are you dealing with stress, fear, anxiety, depression or anger? Do life’s problems seem overwhelming? Does the Bible appear confusing and unrelated to your issues. Then allow me to help. This forum will answer questions and offer advice to Christians. Biblical counseling is all that’s needed for the new person in-Christ. “No problem is too difficult for God.”
DEAR DANIEL BLAIR, (March 13, 2014)
I am writing to you because for over 30 years I have been dealing with fear and manipulation from my husband and I do not know how to break free from it. We have been separated for over 8 years but he lives right beside me and still controls me through fear and manipulation. I am trying to get a divorce and move on but he fights me every step of the way. I need a miracle and touch from God. I truly love God and want to walk in obedience and I do believe God does not want me to live this way or in these conditions but I do not know how to get out. I really could use some advice and prayer. Thank you and God bless you.
DEAR FEAR AND MANIPULATED,
God has given man a great responsibility to love, protect and cherish his wife and in return the wife learns to respect and be submissive to her husband. If he is a believer in Christ then he must continue loving his wife as Christ loves the Church, which means he would have never left her or forsaken her through separation. Love would never cause others to fear as a form of manipulation to do their own will. It is very clear from Scripture that each of us have a greater responsibility to listen to God rather than man. It is He who is our Master that always leads and directs not through fear and manipulation but through love and patience. In this case you should both receive together good biblical counseling so that he would learn not to manipulate but rather learn to love his wife.
On the other hand, If your husband is a non-believer then he has the right to separate from the believing spouse because He has called us to a life of peace (See I Corinthians 7:15). Once separated then he has given up his God given rights to be the head of the woman, his wife, and should refrain from using any and all forms of manipulation especially through fear. Furthermore, you should only listen to God rather than man for He is your true Master and will always lead you to make the right decisions. You may simply need to stop listening to him all together. Remember that it is God who instituted the governing authorities to wield the sword against the evil doer and if you fear any bodily harm then you should contact the authorities immediately. (See Romans 13:1-5)
DEAR DANIEL BLAIR,
I just requested (unnamed college) admit my son with Down Syndrome to (unnamed college). Please allow me to introduce my son Isaac (Ike). Ike is a 20-year old young man with Down Syndrome. Ike is due to graduate from (unnamed) High School in June of next year (2014). We no longer see Ike through a disability lens but see a young man who struggles daily with impairments that can, with some assistance, become secondary to the loving, robust, human being that lies within. There are many callings that our family has faced over the years, but none compare to this. Ike looked deeply into our eyes and said, “I want to go to college,” and my husband and I heard not only the longing in his heart but the call of God. We are therefore appealing to the (unnamed) community to allow Ike to attend college for two years. The proposal Ike and our family are asking he be allowed to attend classes, live in the dormitory and become an integrated part of the (unnamed) campus community for two years. I would like to … discuss your thoughts on the subject. KAY – THEOLOGY OF DISABILITY
DEAR KAY – THEOLOGY OF DISABILITY,
I can truly see a Mother’s heart in wanting what is best for her son but most importantly desiring to follow God’s call in the matter. I was touched by your statement, “We no longer see Ike through a disability lens but see a young man who struggles daily with impairments that can, with some assistance, become secondary to the loving, robust, human being that lies within.”
My heart aches that the world cannot see beyond the exterior of an individual and misses the beautiful person that God has made within. It is very sad that the world places labels on people such as “handicapped” which in some cases may offer benefits to the individual but most often the reverse. Labels usually set a person apart as being inferior to the rest incapable of performing beyond menial tasks thus limiting their ability to fit in with the rest. Furthermore, labels indicate that special time and effort is required in the assistance of an individual which typically limits their ability to participate in levels reserved for those deemed as higher functioning. But who are we to limit what God wants to do with His children thus labeled who may greatly surpass others with other God given abilities such as a keen intellect, beautiful spirit, and other gifts that will surly bless others. It is a small trade off to render a small measure of assistance to receive incalculable blessings. I do pray that this college looks well beyond the exterior of Ike and the limited assistance that may be required to the many benefits to both faculty and student body.
DEAR DANIEL BLAIR,
I just wanted to tell you how much your book and your website have resonated in my ears. God has an awesome way of speaking to me, through you. It is important to me, because I just received my certification as a Mental Health Social Worker. In less than a year I will have a degree as a Chemical Dependency Counselor. I am 43, and the mother of 4. I chose this path, several years ago. I discovered at that time how our youth is being prescribed a pill for every ‘ill.’ My teenage daughter was a cutter, and was placed as an inpatient into a psych unit. She was loaded up with every drug out there, with very little therapy to find out why she was suicidal. It’s a long testimony, but I will tell you, I quickly took her off the meds, and followed God’s lead on how to deal with the situation. I have discovered that almost all of the young ladies in my church women’s group are on antidepressants or anxiolytics. I find this so disheartening. I don’t know where I am going with my education, but I know that God has the plan for me. I just wanted you to know how soothing it is to hear the words that God is our Counselor, and what you put in your blog is right on point, and right on time for me! May God continue to bless you! JODI – EYES OPENED
DEAR JODI – EYES OPENED,
It took a lot of courage to wean your daughter off the meds prescribed to her and confident that you also gave her the only true counsel from God’s Holy Word. You have had your eyes opened wide to the infidelity of psychological counsel and the abuse of psychotropic drugs. As a fellow soldier against this abuse I would encourage you to recognize it as a counter religion leading people to put their trust in the world rather than Jesus Christ. Continue with your studies but use them only to expose the differences between the truth of God’s Word and the lies of psychology and their inability to really help people to overcome their emotional and psychological problems. As a fellow soldier I welcome you in the fight to save our young people who have been blinded by the god of this world.
Are you or someone you know dealing with depression, anxiety, loneliness or guilt then please take a moment to view this important video that exposes the new world religion that’s capturing many dear Christians in the net of deception. It also introduces my ministry which offers Free Christian Counseling for those who are hurting.
This forum is designed to provide accurate and authoritative counsel with regard to the subject matter covered. This information is given with the understanding that neither Daniel Blair nor He Reigns Christian Ministries is engaged in rendering legal, professional advice. Since the details of your situation are fact dependent, you should additionally seek advice of of a Biblical Counselor in person with the help of the Holy Spirit.
RESOURCES
Holy Bible
“Grace and peace be yours in abundance through the knowledge of God and of Jesus our Lord. His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of him who called us by his own glory and goodness” (II Peter 1:2-4).
“For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart” (Hebrew 4:12).
“All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, so that the man of God may be thoroughly equipped for every good work” (II Timothy 3:16-17).